Is a Couples Intensive what you really need this summer?

You know your relationship needs help. 

You know you’re tired of the fighting, the silence, the walking on eggshells. 

You’ve thought about calling for therapy so many times, you’ve clicked through and read everything on my website, but every time you think about booking your consultation you stop. 

You look at your calendar with all the upcoming events you have, and weekly therapy just never seems like a good idea. You don’t have a day every week to devote to the process even though you are SO ready. 

You’re ready for things to change. 

You’re ready to start feeling heard. 

You’re ready to dig deep but you’re also afraid that the process of healing your marriage will take a really long time. 

I get it. I too hate how freaking long healing can take. 

I love my clients and the work we do together, but the truth is: this model hasn’t been working for me either. 

The standard 50 minute sessions often go like this: 10 minutes to catch up and choose what we should work on, 30 minutes of work, an intervention, and intense emotion, 10 minutes to wrap up and summarize what was learned. 

I am so adamant about couples coming to see me on a weekly basis because there’s a lot to cover, and we can’t always wrap sessions up with a pretty bow. Sometimes you’ll have to sit in the discomfort of a cliff hanger until the next session. 

Healing attachment wounds, betrayals, and long-standing negative communication patterns takes hard work and dedication. It also takes consistency. 

Sometimes you just can’t get into the office once a week and that’s why I’ve started doing more intensive work with couples. 

I want you to reach your goals in a shorter period of time. 

Intensives are an accelerated form of therapy that help clients feel better faster. 

No more weekly appointments. No more watching the clock and trying to decide if the issue you’d like to bring up can be covered in the remaining 40 minutes of the session.   

These intensive sessions are so juicy and fruitful. There are no interruptions. No more starting and stopping until next week. 

You know that you’re ready to dig in and get uncomfortable, but rather than dragging it out week by week, for months, you can do it in two, 4 hour sessions or one, 8 hour session, once a month.  

Summer gets busy with travel and kids being out of school but that doesn’t mean that healing your relationship needs to remain on hold. 

Click the here to book your free phone consultation to find out how an intensive can work for you.

What does Ketamine feel Like?

If you’re considering trying Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP), one of the things you might be wondering is, what does it actually feel like when you are under the influence of the medicine? 

If you’ve never used any type of psychedelic drug recreationally then it’s difficult to have a frame of reference. 

You may have experiences with alcohol, but Ketamine is nothing like alcohol. 

Everyone’s experience is different and the same person can have very different experiences in each Ketamine journey. 

For most people Ketamine feels like a dream-like state. But most agree that they have more of a felt sense in their body than they would in a dream. 

The experience is also not as fleeting as a dream and it’s much easier to remember than a dream. 

There is often a point where people feel a disconnection from their body and an out-of-body experience. 

You might fear losing control. But unlike being under the influence of alcohol, there’s no slurring, telling of secrets, or uncontrollable or unwanted behaviors. 

KAP clients are safe and comfortable lying down with an eye mask and headphones throughout the experience. 

What makes KAP so different from recreational drug experiences is that you’re using the medicine in a controlled setting with the intention of healing. 

Over the last several months I’ve seen some of the most profound changes for clients using KAP as a part of their treatment. Things we’ve been working on for years are clicking, and there’s so much positive forward movement. 

It’s during these out of body experiences and in this dream-like state that many clients experience a feeling of freedom from their self-defeating thoughts and patterns. 

For the first time their minds are completely clear. There’s no questioning of their every move. They don’t have a to-do list, and they aren’t replaying difficult memories or feelings. 

For the first time ever, they can just be. And it’s unlike anything they’ve experienced before. 

Some people become connected to younger parts of themselves that have felt lost and disconnected, and this creates a profound sense of healing. 

Integration sessions following these dosing sessions help clients return to these states without the medicine in their day-to-day lives. 

This allows People to feel like they can let go and move on from traumatic events that have kept them stuck for so long. 

A recent New York Times Op-Doc was released and it depicts the use of KAP for a firefighter and it does a really great job of showing how a ketamine session actually looks. In the documentary they use an IV which is different from the lozenges that my clients are prescribed, but the depiction is very similar. You can watch it here, it’s only 17 minutes long. 

If this sounds like something you’d like to experience for yourself, click the link here and book your free 15-minute phone consultation.  

Should you go to bed angry?

Let's bust a big fat myth today…

I’m sure you’ve heard that the best way to have a great marriage is to never go to bed angry. 

It’s concerning to me that couples will literally stay up all night going around and around with the same argument because they are trying to stick to this rule. 

I dunno about you but that sounds like a one-way ticket to complete exhaustion and a week of trying to make up for lost sleep. 

This rule is damaging because it doesn’t take into account the amount of damage that can be done by continuing to fight when you’re dysregulated. It doesn’t take into account the quality of communication that you’re having. You could be yelling, throwing things, name calling, and giving the silent treatment.

When couples start working with us not only do they learn how to regulate their emotions, but they understand their body’s warning signals that tell them when they are starting to become dysregulated. 

They learn how to call time-outs and how to respect one another’s requests to stop.  They learn how to return to the conversation when they are feeling more in control of their emotions. 

Our couples learn how to have conflict and still feel connected and loving. 

They don’t turn into enemies and they actually come to agreements about the things they are fighting about. 

There’s no more pushing things under the rug, walking on eggshells, or silent treatment. 

If you want to stop having marathon fights and learn how to improve your communication…

Click HERE and book your free 15-minute phone consultation. We’ll get you started with a couples expert and help you stop the marathon fights that go nowhere. 

Ketamine Therapy VS Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy

Ketamine clinics are popping up all over California. The research is exciting. It reports immediate relief from treatment-resistant depression, anxiety, and PTSD. 

Most people experience immediate relief. But, these reports often overlook the importance of integration as an ongoing process.  This is truly what creates lasting change. 

Ketamine Therapy is the process of receiving Ketamine. You can administer it through an IV, a lozenge, or nasal spray. Most Ketamine clinics provide a medical evaluation prior to treatment. Then, the patient arrives and the drug is administered. 

Ketamine remains in the system for 45 minutes to 2 hours. During this time, the person feels sedated and has an internal psychedelic experience. Once the experience is over, a chaperone will wheel the patient out to drive them home. 

Without appropriate integration, the experience is just an experience. It can be difficult to process the learnings from the experience. It can be difficult to allow them to permeate everyday life. 

Why Choose KAP?

Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP) is more fully supported. The emphasis and focus are on the preparation, intention setting, and integration processes. 

Much of the research on psychedelic assisted therapy discusses the importance of set and setting. It determines whether a person will experience a positive outcome. I strongly believe that. 

Set refers to the mindset in which a person is in prior to an experience. The setting refers to the physical space and energy surrounding the experience. 

Many people use psychedelics recreationally. The experience is not therapeutic or healing. It is just an experience. 

The Power of Integration

In my work with KAP clients I first seek to know them, their histories, and their goals for treatment. This sets the stage for the work we will do together and it is about trust building. 

Most of my clients have never used any type of recreational drugs. We spend a lot of time preparing for a dosing session. We focus on answering questions. We also discuss the fears and anxieties that naturally come up. 

We also spend a lot of time discussing goals and intentions. I carefully prepare the space for each dosing session. I incorporate aromatherapy and music to enhance each client’s experience. This also helps with integration. 

Ketamine Journeys are 3-hour sessions. We discuss intentions and practice meditation. I help ease the client into the experience. Once the effects of the ketamine wear off there is plenty of time for clients to return to their bodies and process the experience. 

1-3 days following a journey, clients return to my office for an integration session. In this session, we also use aromatherapy. It helps the client remember the learnings they experienced during their journey. We discuss any insights they’ve had. I also use Brainspotting to anchor in the experience. It helps clients return to the places and feelings they’d like to take away from the experience. 

Real Results, Real Transformation

Last week, I shared some of the amazing results my clients are experiencing after just one Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP) session. 

Improved sleep, the ability to be present, implementing healthy lifestyle changes, and seeing oneself positively... the list goes on and on. In case you missed that email you can read it here. 

If you’re ready to embark on a transformative journey click the link below to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation. We’ll answer all your questions and make sure it’s right for you. 

12 Ways to Affair-proof your Marriage

In the craziness of your daily lives, it's common for couples to forget to give their marriage some TLC. You know, life gets busy, and we get caught up in the whirlwind. 

But here's the deal – taking care of your relationship is a big deal!

In my practice, I help couples recover from affairs and other trust violations. Part of the process is understanding how they got to the place where an affair was a possibility.

 I want to share the nitty-gritty stuff you can do to keep your marriage strong. We're talking about building a fortress against potential relationship hiccups and the devastation of infidelity. So here are 12 things you can do to affair-proof your marriage: 

 1. Make Your Marriage the #1 Priority:

Start by acknowledging that your marriage should be your top priority. Open a sincere conversation with your spouse. Discuss what you both can do to keep your relationship at the forefront of your lives.

 2. Nourish Your Relationship:

In the chaos of daily life, it's easy to let your spouse take a backseat. Take the initiative to ask your partner, "What do I need to do to help you feel that our marriage is our top priority?" Listen attentively and take action.

 3. Spend Quality Time Together:

Quality time is the glue that holds a marriage together. Regularly invest in activities that strengthen your connection. Build friendship and lay the foundation for intimacy and lasting love.

 4. Choose Your Battles Wisely:

Instead of constantly correcting or criticizing your spouse, focus on the positives. Acknowledge their efforts and strengths rather than fixating on perceived flaws. Remember, encouragement goes a long way.

 5. Give Each Other Breaks:

Grant your partner the space they need. It's essential to have time for individual pursuits and personal growth. It's also important to maintain a strong connection as a couple.

 6. Talk About What's in Your Heart:

Open and honest communication is the bedrock of any successful marriage. Share your thoughts, fears, and dreams with your spouse. Encourage them to do the same, fostering a deeper understanding and connection.

 7. Focus on the Positive:

Cultivate an environment of positivity in your marriage. Celebrate each other's successes, no matter how small. Express gratitude for the positive aspects of your relationship.

 8. Keep Sex and Passion Alive:

Intimacy is a vital component of a thriving marriage. Make a conscious effort to keep the spark alive. Do this by showing regular affection. Communicate often. Be open to exploring each other's desires.

 9. Make Yourself Happy:

Your individual happiness contributes to the well-being of your marriage. Pursue activities that bring you joy, and encourage your spouse to do the same. A happy individual is more likely to contribute positively to the relationship.

 10. Hang Out with Marriage-Friendly People:

Surround yourselves with couples who share similar values and commitment to their relationships. Positive influences can inspire and support your own journey.

 11. Commit to Lifelong Learning:

Marriage is an ever-evolving journey. Embrace the opportunity for personal and relational growth. Commit to learning from each other and adapting to the changes that life brings.

 12. Don't Forget to Date Each Other:

Keep the romance alive by continuing to date each other. Plan regular date nights to create shared memories. This will reinforce the romantic aspects of your relationship.

 If you read through this list and were able to identify 3 or more areas that you'd like to improve, we want to help! Click the link below to schedule your free 15-minute phone consultation and get your relationship back on track with the right support.