Tips for Reconnecting in Relationships
Rekindling Connection: Nurturing Your Relationship in Rancho Cucamonga
The Ebb and Flow of Romantic Relationships
The beginning of your romantic relationship is usually when you and your partner feel the most connected. You stay up all night talking on the phone and are in constant contact about how you’re feeling and what you’re doing. You make a lot of time for intentional connection and dreaming together.
As time passes, you get the house, the car, the kids… all the things you dreamed of together when you first started your relationship. You don’t stop dreaming, but you stop talking about your dreams and you get bogged down with your day-to-day responsibilities.
And then you find yourselves feeling disconnected.
The feeling of disconnection is painful because you remember all those times you felt so in love and in sync.
But long term romantic relationships are a series of disconnection and connection. On repeat.
What makes relationships last is being able to disconnect and reconnect with humility, without blame, and with understanding for one another.
The relationship will survive the disconnections as long as they don’t last too long and there aren't any damaging behaviors happening during periods of disconnection.
Overcoming Disconnection: Communication Tips
Here are some tips on communicating when you’re feeling disconnected:
The most important topics for reconnection are the ones centered around the heart and emotions.
Ask questions like, “How are you feeling this week? What are you excited about? Are there things that have been making you feel down or like withdrawing?”
My favorite question to ask is, “how is your heart today?” Meaning, how are you feeling emotionally?
Instead of asking, “how was your day?” Try asking, “what was the best part of your day today? What was the hardest part of your day? How did you feel about that issue that came up?”
Couples can become disconnected when they talk about WHAT happened, and leave out how they FEEL about what happened.
The emotional part is the vulnerability piece that creates a deeper connection, so asking how your partner is feeling about what they are sharing is ultimately most connective.
When Disconnection Persists: Seeking Help in Rancho Cucamonga
If you’re finding it difficult to reconnect with your partner these days or you’re noticing longer and more frequent periods of disconnection, couples therapy can help. Click the link below to book your free 15-minute phone consultation and we’ll help you get back on the track towards reconnection.
